Texas Ranch House

[Dropping The Helicopter]

Ok, since ER sucks so much ass, I'm going to start a thread about
another sucky show here: PBS's "Texas Ranch House":

- This show puts the "BS" back in PBS:

Maid: "I want to be a cowboy!"
P-whipped Ranch Owner: "Ranch hands, the maid is going to be a cowboy now!"
Announcer: "Mrs. Cooke's husband has just done something that without
any question would never ever ever have happened anywhere near the
1870s. It is thoroughly documented to have never happened. If it had
ever happened, the cowboys would have murdered the boss before he
completed the sentence. No. Way.

.......But let's just go with it!"

Mrs. Cooke: "Blah blah blah bl-blah screetch blah 21st century woman!
Blah bitch blah blah blah, bitch b-bitch!"
Mrs. Cooke's Husband: [Sheepishly] "Yes'um."
Announcer: "If this was really the 1870s, not only would Mrs. Cooke's
husband have murdered her by now, but his daughters would have gladly
buried the body. Also, by this point it is obvious that Mrs. Cooke is a
complete tard and doesn't understand that the whole point of the show is
to PRETEND THAT ITS 1870."

Daughter: "Yeah this is my corset, but I don't wear it because I'm a
21st Century Woman and it's itchy."
Announcer: "The Cooke's daughters also don't realize that they're
supposed to be pretending to be BACK IN THE GOD-DAMNED 1870s."

- What exactly did any of the Cooke family do on that ranch? Especially
the old man? My sweet lord, I've never in my life seen anyone so
whipped. Which, fine, whatever, but for Christ's sake DO SOMETHING.

- There is no way the Indians wouldn't have killed the entire Cooke
family. No way. PBS must have had something on them, because you could
totally tell they wanted to kill those people in the worst way.

- Ditto, but replace "Indians" with "cowboys".

What a fiasco. TEERPTB would be proud.

[ray o'hara]

Post by Dropping The Helicopter
Ok, since ER sucks so much ass, I'm going to start a thread about

all those go back in time shows suck. the people of the time took the
conditions for granted.

[Dropping The Helicopter]

Post by ray o'hara

Post by Dropping The Helicopter
Ok, since ER sucks so much ass, I'm going to start a thread about

all those go back in time shows suck.

I know they do but this is the worst one yet.

Post by ray o'hara
the people of the time took the
conditions for granted.

No, they knew it sucked even at the time. But that wasn't even the
problem in this disaster. It was two things:

1. The ridiculous Cooke family, in particular Mrs. Cooke and her
husband. Regardless of what century it is, it's clear they're an
embarrassment to humanity. It would not surprise me in the least to
learn that they are all ER staffers.

2. PBS letting the aforementioned Mrs. Cooke (and her husband) get away
with shiite that there's no effen way they could have possibly ever
gotten away with. The show even *admits* it. I'm surprised they didn't
have a TV set going. Even on that stupid "Frontier House", they took
away the bedspring the tard family on that show had smuggled in.

[Cathy M]

Post by ray o'hara

Post by Dropping The Helicopter
Ok, since ER sucks so much ass, I'm going to start a thread about

all those go back in time shows suck. the people of the time took the
conditions for granted.

I liked the one that was set in Montana (Frontier House?). The
annoying families were enjoyably annoying, at least to me.

CathyM

[Dropping The Helicopter]

Post by Cathy M

Post by ray o'hara

Post by Dropping The Helicopter
Ok, since ER sucks so much ass, I'm going to start a thread about

all those go back in time shows suck. the people of the time took the
conditions for granted.

I liked the one that was set in Montana (Frontier House?). The
annoying families were enjoyably annoying, at least to me.
CathyM

The great thing about that one was that of the three "families" on the
show, the only one that actually had a snowball's chance of not dying
over the winter was the one young guy (who was like a computer
programmer or something equally not-at-all-useful in a frontiery
environment) and his old man. The other two were too busy bitching,
fighting, getting p-whipped in the case of the husbands, and being retards.

I remember the one guy crying that his plot of land was like 100 feet
from the river and "oh my god, nobody told me that one of my hellspawn
would have to walk all that way to the river to get water! We're going
to die!!!! I'm a pathetic excuse of a man!!!!"

[a***@hotmail.com]

Post by Dropping The Helicopter
Ok, since ER sucks so much ass, I'm going to start a thread about
Maid: "I want to be a cowboy!"
P-whipped Ranch Owner: "Ranch hands, the maid is going to be a cowboy now!"
Announcer: "Mrs. Cooke's husband has just done something that without
any question would never ever ever have happened anywhere near the
1870s. It is thoroughly documented to have never happened. If it had
ever happened, the cowboys would have murdered the boss before he
completed the sentence. No. Way.
.......But let's just go with it!"
Mrs. Cooke: "Blah blah blah bl-blah screetch blah 21st century woman!
Blah bitch blah blah blah, bitch b-bitch!"
Mrs. Cooke's Husband: [Sheepishly] "Yes'um."
Announcer: "If this was really the 1870s, not only would Mrs. Cooke's
husband have murdered her by now, but his daughters would have gladly
buried the body. Also, by this point it is obvious that Mrs. Cooke is a
complete tard and doesn't understand that the whole point of the show is
to PRETEND THAT ITS 1870."
Daughter: "Yeah this is my corset, but I don't wear it because I'm a
21st Century Woman and it's itchy."
Announcer: "The Cooke's daughters also don't realize that they're
supposed to be pretending to be BACK IN THE GOD-DAMNED 1870s."
- What exactly did any of the Cooke family do on that ranch? Especially
the old man? My sweet lord, I've never in my life seen anyone so
whipped. Which, fine, whatever, but for Christ's sake DO SOMETHING.
- There is no way the Indians wouldn't have killed the entire Cooke
family. No way. PBS must have had something on them, because you could
totally tell they wanted to kill those people in the worst way.
- Ditto, but replace "Indians" with "cowboys".
What a fiasco. TEERPTB would be proud.

The Cook Family Massacre would have been a better episode title.
In their complete sense of priviledge and disregard for the hired men
who were
making their fat ass existence possible, the Cooks, Mr. and Mrs. and
their lazy daughters
were the epitome of self-satisfied, smug, and vulgar. The entire
project was to live 1867,
not "our summer vacation 2006" or, how we learned to swat flies and
complain.

Mrs. Cook was quick to criticize Nacho, and later, everyone but when
the experts assessed her failure to carry out her duties, she
complained. Besides her lack of clean home and kitchen, for she
was filthy as Nacho, her daughters were slutty in the face of the men
and women, and her
interference was neither women's power, but shrewish nagging. Mr. Cook
although a hospital
administrator in 2006 had neither the people skills nor the book
keeping wherewithall to manage
his kingdom. Far from being a leader, he was more a hinderance in the
daily lives of his resource
employees. His disdain for the safety of his employees and in
particular, Jarod, who was captured
by the Comanche was shameful.

That he called the Comanche "terrorists" was not only insulting, but a
tell tale clue to
his own lack of insight to his immigrant heritage. The Comanche should
have slaughtered
his animals, burned down their home, and stolen those big worthless
women for slaves.
Anyone who lives in the heat of the southwest knows you get up in the
early dark hours, get the work done before the sun rises.

As for the Ms. Feminist Anthro grad student from Stanford, Moira, she's
a terrible example of the disruptive and insensitive intrusive
observer. Keep her away from anything but lesbo, urban, and
offensive culture studies bimbos with an ax to grind about their loss
of priveges as women in the face
of masculine, patrilineal culture. She is clueless how to interact in
any other society but will shove her
own attitudes instead of shutting up and learning how to blend in.

That the experts in the end faulted both the cowboys for their lack of
respect for the women, and the Cooks for their failure to manage a
successful project was a tactful summation. That Mrs. Cook refused to
see her own failures and shortcomings in this assessment only confirmed
that the sense
of entitlement and priviedge she demonstrated was justified by her
"family-centric" ruthlessness and
lack of respect for the cowhands. The only time she shut her mouth was
in the face of the Comanche chief informing her husband that he could
take away all the women in the house with his men. However, for the
purposes of the Comanche, they'd have slowed the camp down, and eaten
too much. They were a lazy group of women, flithy housekeepers, and
ignorant to the proprieties of female culture in their lack of
appropriate clothing at all times was the purpose of the 1867
experience which was their ultimate loss. These are dumb city slickers
that the west did not need.